"THE HOUSE ON VALLEY DRIVE"

It's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive The speakers are bouncin', the music is loud The stereo's in overdrive The front yard is full of all makes and models The neighbor, I'm sure he hears Revelry, laughter and spurts of lunacy As he has over the years.

Upon a time next door lived a lady named Ramona Who threw parties we used to raid The memories of the times that we spent there Like Ramona, are beginning to fade Like old stoop-shouldered Leon, and Pam the Giving She'd serve you at the count of five And it's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive.

There's a short skinny man with a wooden leg Playing chords with an old six-string Singing songs that come from cut-out bins And that fat girl sure can sing Ol' Leon's sittin' out in the front yard Tellin' stories 'bout how to survive And it's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive.

There's weightlifter Tom in his tank T-shirt With tequila and lime in check He coughs now and then until somebody looks Then he casually flexes his neck "Just one more shot and I'm ready to go" He says, "Come on, I'll drive" And it's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive.

There's some dude in the john and he's pukin' his guts out Swearin' he won't drink again And she's just a tramp, and life's just a hassle And that guy was never a friend He rinses his mouth out and wets down his hair And heads to a local dive And no one knew him at two in the mornin' At the house on Valley Drive.

There's a putrid stench lingering in the air All are looking for someone to curse The Pixies wail out on the stereo too loud The smell is getting worse Finally Dave steps out from around the corner Holding his shoes up high And it's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive.

The Sloans that lived across the street Put up with a lot of crap here With their two big dalmations and congratulations They're owed a lot of beer For they put up with noises and music and shouting Their sleep was surely deprived We tried to stay quiet at two in the mornin' At the house on Valley Drive.

One day in the fall of '91 A gunshot was heard out back It seems there'd been some fightin' goin' on With a gun and some beer and some crack It's people like that that keep this street interesting It's people like that that thrive At two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the trailer park on Valley Drive.

The shaggy-haired hippie, he's walking along And he's kickin' the rocks in the street He's to play guitar at a party 'round here But forgot at which house to meet So he busts in here with his guitar case We wondered if we would survive He had found, alas, at two in the mornin' The wrong house on Valley Drive.

There's an old classmate and he's come home from college He's brought his girlfriend along She shakes hands with all and studies their actions She thinks there is something wrong With the guy by the fridge giving it all he's got With a juke and a thrust and a jive He's just having fun with the Kenmore at two In the mornin' on Valley Drive.

There's a little black pile over in the corner Waitin' for everyone to go And every so often it will speed 'round the room And then it kicks in the turbo And when it slows down and comes to a stop It pukes 'til it's barely alive Then it licks it up at two in the mornin' Audrey on Valley Drive.

And JP, he stands over in the kitchen Workin' on his second beer He's ready to go but it's rainin' outside He's waitin' for it to clear When the rain finally breaks, he makes his move But on the grass he takes a dive He's lucky he didn't crack his skull In the yard on Valley Drive.

There's a couple of chicks a-dancin' away Callin' America as they spin They're spinnin' and fightin' and havin' a time Wearin' the pants of 7-UP men Hey, did you see her pull the other by the hair? That's nothin' compared to what I've Seen them do to one another at two in the mornin' At the house on Valley Drive.

And the bowed up weightlifter, he's askin' the girl If she thinks he looks OK And the guy by the fridge, he's havin' a ball Ain't nothin' like a freezer-lay And the red-haired girl who's standin' in the kitchen She's wantin' to go to Doc's And her roommate's somewhere in the pool room Doin' the Happy Dance as the house rocks And the teacher tells the nurse not all's as it seems And these people ain't all that weird He apologizes to her but knows inside It's every bit as bad as she'd feared And the girls in the living room, they're still a'spinnin' With flyswatters in their hands And a guy by the stereo, he's lookin' at the records He's never heard of these bands And the FAA man, he's shootin' some pool Even though he ain't worth a shit And the guy by the fridge, he's diggin' in the trash Lookin' for a place to spit While the tenants just stand there and take it all in Looks like another weekend's arrived And it's two in the mornin' on Saturday night At the house on Valley Drive.

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